"…we love witty people not for who they are, but for the pleasure they give us".
That's a quote from Aristotle's writing, "On Friendship". He outlines three different types of friendship, this quote concerns friendships based on usefulness or pleasure. Everybody knows about friends' whom we don't really have an interest in "getting to know", they're simply people to help pass the time in a class, to chat with until your car is fixed, to borrow things from, or to take advantage of their connections. Often times people will call these "friends" an acquaintance; but in moments of interaction, we'll often call them friends for the sake of comfort and not injuring anybody's pride or hurting their feelings. It's a frail sort of relationship that passes as soon as their usefulness or their purpose is spent or extinguished.
I think this is actually a very prevalent type of friendship. Even when people try to look out for one another, we don't always absorb what's going on and apply it to better understanding a person. It's a convenient friendship to avoid boredom, to have someone to interact with and pass the time with whom you share something in common with (at least initially), and then they're simply somebody that you've already broken the barrier with. The big difference between these people and the others, is that they don't just turn to you based on their mood, it's an opening friendship that can lead into something more, or simply end as a temporary friendship. These aren't normally people who you are interested in finding out what makes them, them: what gives them their "ness," as Dupree (from You, Me, and Dupree) would call it.
Using quotes from Aristotle's writing, I'm going to break down each type he distinguishes, and add my own opinions and maybe even a few experiences. It's been confusing to me, why sometimes people care one day and seem so totally uninterested at other moments. There are certain moods where we'll be called upon, and it's all based on our "level" of friendship. Everybody in our lives serve a purpose of some kind, sometimes it's honest good-natured friendship, a desire to get to know one another, a desire to have a companion for more than just good times, but because they are both respected and respect you, it's a true friend we all want to find. But there are also other friendships out there: friendships based on convenience to avoid boredom, and friendships based on pleasure and laughter. Once those traits are stolen, the friendships fall apart, whether the other half wants it to or not.
"…their lives are guided by emotion, and they pursue most intensely what they find pleasant and what the moment brings."
This brings me to the second "temporary" friendship. These are the friends that make you laugh, the jokesters that you give a call on a sad day, the people you call to just make you laugh and help give you a smile each and everyday. These are the friends that you know to hug and hold you, to make you feel special and loved, but you could never open up to and truly express yourself with. The depth of the friendship doesn't go far, you simply interact with them for fun, you know these people for the kicks they bring, not because of what they like/dislike or what they think of you. You couldn't care less.
People found for these reasons, can be the most hurtful. When you can't entertain them anymore, when you aren't making them feel better, you're no longer of any use and you'll find yourself becoming more and more abandoned each day. Where friends based on convenience can continue to contact you if they're interested in maintaining the friendship, people you find who are based on pleasure and mood, will fill in the gap you used to fill, and there simply won't be time in their lives for you eventually.
"Those who wish for their friends' good for their friends' sake are friends in the truest sense, since their attitude is determined by what their friends are and not by incidental considerations."
These people are your best of friends, the people you truly fall in love with, whom you'll never let down so long as your able. These friends will often begin as one of the earlier two; it requires a level of trust and honesty that isn't very prevalent for many people. People who share beliefs and morals with you, whom you feel that you can trust near any truth with, and whom you are interested in discovering everything about. There is no dishonesty here; it's the purest of friendships. It's selfish in the sense that you're interacting with them in order to find out more about them and you'll turn to them in moments of crisis when you need somebody to listen, but it's also selfless because you're willing to hear anything they have to say, they're worth taking a break from whatever you're doing, no matter how…annoying, the timing may be, simply because they are worth it. You'll be there for them anytime you're able, even if it's of an inconvenience.
Friendships like these, you can't lose. I'm not saying you can't ignore them, I'm saying you never forget about them, and despite any type of past, they're people that you can walk up to a year later and after just a bit of a talking, everything will snap into place. You will rediscover yourselves and your friendship with hardly any effort at all. It's a magical type of thing, full of understanding and sympathy, where you know they'll give you an ear when possible, just as you will for them.
When you find somebody like this, don't let anything get in the way of keeping in touch. They're the friends that will be there for you with anything you need, they'll sympathize and reach you in ways you may not even realize is possible. In moments of depression, it's a friend like this which is needed most; somebody who cares about you, and knows all the strengths in your character. These are the friends who can help you rediscover yourself after a life-altering event. These people are the people whom can be your campus through your life, and help you remember that there are people around you who still care.
In your everyday life, these are the people who despite any dangers in our hobbies, will voice their concern but give us the freedom to live our lives. They will accept the annoying hobbies and habits we have, maybe even joke around lightly with us about them, but overall are simply accepting. And in moments of weakness, when we give into habits that could ruin our lives, will do all in their power to intercede for our better interest, despite what we may say or do to them for their efforts.
Friendship will often begin as something of abuse. We're selfish being by nature, doing what we need to enjoy life and survive. We're attracted to new people based on their initial appearance: whether they're cute, beautiful, sexy, simply have amazing eyes, lovely hair, or a smile that you can't stop looking at. We enjoy laughing, we'll hang out at least nearby the funny people we meet just to overhear another joke, laugh at clumsiest or dorkiest of people, or go out of our way to anger the person who won't leave you alone: simply because you feel they deserve it. From the start of one of these selfish friendships, many things are possible. It's a chance to become closer to somebody and try and get inside of them. Test the boundaries of their trust, their morals, and really dig into what makes them tick. Discover the depths of what makes up who they are, and find a connection that might tie you together for life. Everything that happens in our life is something that we can learn from, grow stronger from. We'll learn how quickly we feel safe trusting others, we'll learn when to stop listening to our feelings and let our logic set in, and we'll discover through trial and error, more about ourselves and what's most important in our lives.
(p.s. sorry if this is a little more fragmented than what I've done before, I typed it up between classes on various days I had the time, so..yeah, lol.)
That's a quote from Aristotle's writing, "On Friendship". He outlines three different types of friendship, this quote concerns friendships based on usefulness or pleasure. Everybody knows about friends' whom we don't really have an interest in "getting to know", they're simply people to help pass the time in a class, to chat with until your car is fixed, to borrow things from, or to take advantage of their connections. Often times people will call these "friends" an acquaintance; but in moments of interaction, we'll often call them friends for the sake of comfort and not injuring anybody's pride or hurting their feelings. It's a frail sort of relationship that passes as soon as their usefulness or their purpose is spent or extinguished.
I think this is actually a very prevalent type of friendship. Even when people try to look out for one another, we don't always absorb what's going on and apply it to better understanding a person. It's a convenient friendship to avoid boredom, to have someone to interact with and pass the time with whom you share something in common with (at least initially), and then they're simply somebody that you've already broken the barrier with. The big difference between these people and the others, is that they don't just turn to you based on their mood, it's an opening friendship that can lead into something more, or simply end as a temporary friendship. These aren't normally people who you are interested in finding out what makes them, them: what gives them their "ness," as Dupree (from You, Me, and Dupree) would call it.
Using quotes from Aristotle's writing, I'm going to break down each type he distinguishes, and add my own opinions and maybe even a few experiences. It's been confusing to me, why sometimes people care one day and seem so totally uninterested at other moments. There are certain moods where we'll be called upon, and it's all based on our "level" of friendship. Everybody in our lives serve a purpose of some kind, sometimes it's honest good-natured friendship, a desire to get to know one another, a desire to have a companion for more than just good times, but because they are both respected and respect you, it's a true friend we all want to find. But there are also other friendships out there: friendships based on convenience to avoid boredom, and friendships based on pleasure and laughter. Once those traits are stolen, the friendships fall apart, whether the other half wants it to or not.
"…their lives are guided by emotion, and they pursue most intensely what they find pleasant and what the moment brings."
This brings me to the second "temporary" friendship. These are the friends that make you laugh, the jokesters that you give a call on a sad day, the people you call to just make you laugh and help give you a smile each and everyday. These are the friends that you know to hug and hold you, to make you feel special and loved, but you could never open up to and truly express yourself with. The depth of the friendship doesn't go far, you simply interact with them for fun, you know these people for the kicks they bring, not because of what they like/dislike or what they think of you. You couldn't care less.
People found for these reasons, can be the most hurtful. When you can't entertain them anymore, when you aren't making them feel better, you're no longer of any use and you'll find yourself becoming more and more abandoned each day. Where friends based on convenience can continue to contact you if they're interested in maintaining the friendship, people you find who are based on pleasure and mood, will fill in the gap you used to fill, and there simply won't be time in their lives for you eventually.
"Those who wish for their friends' good for their friends' sake are friends in the truest sense, since their attitude is determined by what their friends are and not by incidental considerations."
These people are your best of friends, the people you truly fall in love with, whom you'll never let down so long as your able. These friends will often begin as one of the earlier two; it requires a level of trust and honesty that isn't very prevalent for many people. People who share beliefs and morals with you, whom you feel that you can trust near any truth with, and whom you are interested in discovering everything about. There is no dishonesty here; it's the purest of friendships. It's selfish in the sense that you're interacting with them in order to find out more about them and you'll turn to them in moments of crisis when you need somebody to listen, but it's also selfless because you're willing to hear anything they have to say, they're worth taking a break from whatever you're doing, no matter how…annoying, the timing may be, simply because they are worth it. You'll be there for them anytime you're able, even if it's of an inconvenience.
Friendships like these, you can't lose. I'm not saying you can't ignore them, I'm saying you never forget about them, and despite any type of past, they're people that you can walk up to a year later and after just a bit of a talking, everything will snap into place. You will rediscover yourselves and your friendship with hardly any effort at all. It's a magical type of thing, full of understanding and sympathy, where you know they'll give you an ear when possible, just as you will for them.
When you find somebody like this, don't let anything get in the way of keeping in touch. They're the friends that will be there for you with anything you need, they'll sympathize and reach you in ways you may not even realize is possible. In moments of depression, it's a friend like this which is needed most; somebody who cares about you, and knows all the strengths in your character. These are the friends who can help you rediscover yourself after a life-altering event. These people are the people whom can be your campus through your life, and help you remember that there are people around you who still care.
In your everyday life, these are the people who despite any dangers in our hobbies, will voice their concern but give us the freedom to live our lives. They will accept the annoying hobbies and habits we have, maybe even joke around lightly with us about them, but overall are simply accepting. And in moments of weakness, when we give into habits that could ruin our lives, will do all in their power to intercede for our better interest, despite what we may say or do to them for their efforts.
Friendship will often begin as something of abuse. We're selfish being by nature, doing what we need to enjoy life and survive. We're attracted to new people based on their initial appearance: whether they're cute, beautiful, sexy, simply have amazing eyes, lovely hair, or a smile that you can't stop looking at. We enjoy laughing, we'll hang out at least nearby the funny people we meet just to overhear another joke, laugh at clumsiest or dorkiest of people, or go out of our way to anger the person who won't leave you alone: simply because you feel they deserve it. From the start of one of these selfish friendships, many things are possible. It's a chance to become closer to somebody and try and get inside of them. Test the boundaries of their trust, their morals, and really dig into what makes them tick. Discover the depths of what makes up who they are, and find a connection that might tie you together for life. Everything that happens in our life is something that we can learn from, grow stronger from. We'll learn how quickly we feel safe trusting others, we'll learn when to stop listening to our feelings and let our logic set in, and we'll discover through trial and error, more about ourselves and what's most important in our lives.
(p.s. sorry if this is a little more fragmented than what I've done before, I typed it up between classes on various days I had the time, so..yeah, lol.)
