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  • Entry number 2
    This will be my final post on here..

    Recently I have been given heartbreaking news
    I have to wait 15 years before I am able to tuck my baby brother into bed, before I can hold him and tell him it will all be okay, to tell him not to worry after he has a nightmare or a test at school

    This has taken its toll on my dear mother
    She attempted to take her own life a week ago today, I'm not going to have time for this community anymore, I'm going to get my mother and bring her home with me she needs me as much as I need her, I've been suicidal for the past few months and I used Gaming as a distraction but it's no longer working so for now this is my resignation from the Xiled Gaming Community
    I bid you all farewell and good luck in future endeavours
    It's been a blast and I've had a fantastic experience with all of the wonderful people I've met in this community so go forth and game don't let anything hold you back
    I think this could be healthy, I'm gonna use my own page to vent and clear my head, my thoughts can go to really low places and drag me down with them but lately I've met an absolutely incredible woman who's been the only person to stop me from overthinking and getting everything messed up in my head
    How am I expected to be like everyone else when everything is so loud 24/7 and there's absolutely no downtime from my thoughts except her
    I know it's cheesy but my head was like a hurricane but with her it's a cool breeze yet I'm terrified to tell her how I feel due to the fact that I have a talent for pushin people away, she will be round tomorrow and I'm absolutely terrified and my anxiety is kicking my backside but I'm gonna tell her everything and either way it goes I think I'll feel better due to getting my feelings out there...
    That's all for today tune into dateline Xgc same time same place tomorrow for part two I guess
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